


You'll Never Miss it 'till it's Gone

by stuckysoul



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Character Death, Depression, M/M, One Shot, Soulmates, Soulmates see in color
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-15 00:05:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9211136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuckysoul/pseuds/stuckysoul
Summary: I wrote this after being inspired by an idea I saw on Pinterest: what if you were born seeing the world in black and white, and only saw color once you met your soulmate?And then what happens when that soulmate dies?





	

Dan really, really loved the color black. Sure, he’d been seeing in color for almost a decade now, and he honestly did appreciate it. He even enjoyed it. The bright reds and blues made black look even darker! He smiled childishly as he dumped two boxes of brightly colored lucky charms into his trolley. Two boxes, obviously, so that he could place one in the kitchen and the other in his secret snack drawer (which he had to re-hide every week because Phil kept finding it).

He sighed as he scratched the hastily written word cereal off of his scrap of paper. He turned down the frozen foods aisle, looking for he and Phil’s favourite kind of pizza when his heart plummeted to the floor.

The entire world around him went instantly from vibrant colors to grey.

He was seeing in black and white.

He felt sick, confused, horrified-he didn’t know how he felt. He just dropped everything and ran.

He ran past the shouting clerks. Shoved his way past the angry customers. Bolted down the street towards their flat.

_No. No, no, no, no._

His mind was screaming the word with every breath. He turned around the corner and came to a shuddering halt. Four cars were stopped abruptly in the road, and someone was in front of it all.

Dan saw blood. And he saw it on Phil’s shoes.

His vision swam. The world tilted around him, and his now dark world was threatening to completely engulf him. Dan took a wavering breath and forced himself forward.

He walked slowly, robotically past the cars and their worried drivers. He slumped to the ground besides Phil’s body, unable to look past anything but the blood.

He didn’t know how, but the next thing he knew he had hoisted Phil’s upper body off of the ground and was clutching it desperately in his arms. He knew he was crying, but he didn’t know why. None of this felt real. This couldn’t actually be happening. Phil couldn’t be-

Dan looked into Phil’s eyes, open and glassy. His body shook with sobs when instead of seeing their gorgeous shade of blue, he saw only grey.

The blood was nearly invisible behind Phil’s hair, but looked as harsh as splattered black paint against his skin. Everything about Phil was always colorful. He didn’t look like himself, he didn’t look right in this monotone shade. Dan had never seen him this way. The moment Dan had laid eyes on Phil after stepping off the plane, his world had lit up like a firecracker. They had gotten together that very day. He had never once looked at Phil and seen anything but warmth and brightness. It felt wrong for Phil to even be seen in these shades, almost vulgar. Obscene.

Dan wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but someone was trying to take Phil from his arms. Dan clenched his arms around his body, holding onto Phil like his grip could force the life back into his lungs.

“Son. Son, you need to let go. We need to get him into the ambulance. I’m sorry, you can’t stay here in the street.”

Dan barely registered that he was being spoken to. He understood just enough to drunkenly stagger to his feet. Never losing physical contact with Phil, he followed the men into the back of the ambulance. They checked his pulse, examined his wounds, and-

“Time of death: 11:46.”

_________________________________

Dan’s throat felt like it had been shredded. He wasn’t sure how long he’d screamed for. When he’d returned from the funeral-the dark, dull, monotone funeral-he had at some point started to scream. He had collapsed onto his floor and let himself lose his mind. Every time he opened his eyes, he was reminded again that he was alone. Phil was gone, he was never coming back, and Dan was trapped forever in a world of grey without him. They had decorated their flat full of bright paintings and fun toys, and now Dan hated every last one of them.

He forced himself off of the ground, his skin raw, and stumbled into his room. He saw his bed and almost laughed out loud. It was the only thing in the entire flat that hadn’t changed. His grey and white comforter stayed exactly the same in his world without color, and seeing it repulsed him. He pivoted around and instead let Phil’s door creak open.

Now, Phil’s comforter looked just like his own.

Dan felt his knees threaten to buckle under his weight. His suit jacket fell off of his shoulders and he just barely made it to Phil’s bed before he slumped forward onto it. He curled up under the covers, shoved his face into one of the pillows, and let himself drift into a restless sleep.

Maybe, if he really tried, he could still dream in color.

He could dream of Phil.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading, everyone! I greatly appreciate any feedback you have time to give, whether it's a comment or a kudos! Feedback helps me grow as a writer, so I always look forward to it (positive or negative). I hope this quick little one shot wasn't too depressing. I'll write more fluff once I'm feeling fluffier.
> 
> Happy New Year!


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